Tuesday, August 17 2010
Sleeping at night is all but impossible. I'm tossing and turning. My mind is flooded with dreams. Not nightmares like everyone tells me they have but crazy nonsense dreams.
I dreamed about my cats toy, the garbage can out side, my pillow...oh that was a good one. My pillow and I had a long conversation and it wants me to wash my face before bed so I don't get it oily or dirty. I think I will do it in case it was real and not a dream.
I never dream so this is all new. The dreams are very detailed. If they become more vivid from this point I may become worried.
My smoking sensation is very minimal and for me thats a huge thing. I have always needed my nicotine. I could never work in an office that didn't allow me to go out for a smoke anytime I wanted. I smoked one today only because I wanted to but I felt no need to. Where has the undeniable urge to smoke gone? At this point I would be angry with the world because I wasn't getting enough nicotine. Its not there. The anger is no where to be found.
So far I would say on day 4 the dreams are ok. The biggest thing on day 4 is the fact that my desire to smoke is all but gone. Yesterday I smoked 5 so far today one.
Today is the turning point though. Its the first day the dosage doubles. One pill in the morning and one pill in the evening. Well until tomorrow "ciao"
